Relationship Hacking

By chasww | Articles

Hacking Definition: to take a shortcut or a "work around"

Getting most anything you want these days is often times a matter of relationships, or at least it opens more opportunities and faster results the more relationships you have.

Let's attempt to apply "hacking", or a shortcut, to building a relationship to get a new or better job.

First let's look at how people typically are most successful at easily and quickly getting a job: they talk to the people they already know and trust.​ The ones they already have relationships with. If all goes well, a job is located within the immediate circle of influence.

The next search is to go beyond the first level and find out who they have in their immediate circles of influence. Much of the trust your friends have in their circles with extend to you too. Obviously not quite as powerful, but more than enough to give you a chance to talk to the right people.

For many people, this is enough. Two levels deep can cover a lot of ground and uncover a position and start you off with enough good will and trust to secure a job.

But do people do if this fails?

For most people, it means looking online and applying via job boards. If you are supremely qualified with incredible experience and/or in a high-demand industry for people like you, this may work very well. But for most people out of work this is not the case. That's precisely why they're out of work... they don't have the connections or experience in the right areas to land another job quickly.

What to do? Build relationships.​

​Sound so easy. "Build Relationships".

But relationships take time. Building trust takes time.

Is there anything that can be done to "hack" the relationship building? Is there a workaround? Is there a way to speed things up?

I say, yes, there are ways.​

Think about the people you have trusted relationships with now. Think about how they got started and how long they took. Do you have any examples of people you "hit it off with" very quickly? Do you have some that took much longer and maybe had some bumpy periods where you had reservations about that person?

In most cases, you will find that the quick relationships were built on common interests and goals. You spoke a common language and were working towards​ similar outcomes.

An additional factor that ramps the relationship up even more quickly is if they offer to help you. No strings attached. Just a pure gesture of friendship. Of kinship. ​

If this is done correctly, it can be magical. If done wrong, it can be a little weird and backfire on you.

Here's my method.

  1. Decide what it is you want to do career-wise.
  2. Get clear on why you want to do it.​
  3. Find the people that are already doing what it is that you want to do.
  4. Go interview those people and find out what makes them tick.

Why it works.

  1. You're talking to the people that have common goals in your industry.
  2. You demonstrate that you care about them and what they're doing.
  3. You give them your time and attention.
  4. You reward them by publishing their accomplishments.



Publish a blog post, a podcast, an article, a testimonial even just word of mouth... anything that helps them promote what they're doing.​

The ultimate publishing effort would be to interview multiple people, transcribe all that they tell you an publish a book. This will build incredible relationships with a dozen or more people in your chosen industry. Plus it will position you as the center of influence with them and have outsiders see you at the same level with them

This will build long term credibility for you in record time and make it easier for people to get to know trust and like you.

Relationship Hacking: now you know a method that works

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.​

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About the Author

Author of Amazon #1 Bestseller "The Reverse Interview" and Patent Holder of the anti-shoplifting tag you've seen for over 30 years in Department stores